Happiness dolls; they’re nothing more than yarn folded and crocheted together to make a doll not much bigger than a quarter. The girls had dresses, the boys wore overalls. The clothes were all different colors, sometimes made to match the time of year – red and green for Christmas, orange and black for Halloween, green and silver for St. Patrick’s Day. They weren’t anything major, but they were special. My great-grandmother used to make them for her children. She didn’t have much money, so it was a way for her kids to have toys. I got my first one when I was very young. I remember playing with them as most girls did Barbie’s. My grandmother would visit great-grandma and come home with a shoebox filled with them. It was so exciting to see the different dresses, and even more exciting when I saw that great-grandma had put safety pins in the back of some; I could wear my happiness doll to school!
I remember the first time I met my great-grandmother. We took a trip up to Alabama in my grandmother’s RV for Thanksgiving. It was the first time my sisters and I had been away from our parents on that holiday, but I was so excited to meet the creator of the happiness dolls that it didn’t matter to me. When we pulled into her house I was shocked to see a 70+ year old woman running around her house playing with her dog, Trixie. She was so full of life it brought this crazy energy to everyone around her. Her house was amazing to me. It was full of all sorts of toys and goodies, gifts that she received, packages she got in the mail that have never been opened. She told us to go into a room that was filled floor to ceiling with boxes and said we could have whatever we wanted. It was like Christmas. Of course, years later I’d come to realize that most people would consider her a hoarder, but that didn’t occur to me at that point. All that mattered was that I could have whatever I wanted.
My sisters didn’t seem to connect with my great-grandmother too much. Perhaps it was their ages; my older sister couldn’t be bothered and my younger sister was probably uncomfortable with someone new; but I got attached right away. I remember sitting with her in her bed while she taught me how to knit. It was so exciting to learn something new like that – my grandmother didn’t even know how to knit! It was a skill that I knew none of my friends had, and I felt special. My great-grandmother and I bonded and when we had to leave I remember staring out the window in the back of the RV, crying my eyes out. Sadly, that was the first and last time that I saw her.
My mother’s family is incredibly close. We make a point to have a family get-together every year. My father’s family isn’t as close. I used to beg to have my parents take us up to see great-grandma again, but they could never be bothered with it. I was always told that maybe we could go next summer. So through my grandmother I’d write letters, and when great-grandma became familiar with the technology, emails. We’d send pictures and talk on the phone. We never lost that bond. I, unfortunately, did lose the ability to knit. It’s more difficult that one would think, and if you don’t use that skill every day you can and will lose it. Since my grandmother didn’t know how to knit I asked when I’d be able to go back up and see great-grandma. Again, I was told later.
Later. I’m so sick of that word. “I’ll call them later; I’ll write later, I’ll try to make it out there later. I’m just too busy right now.” Too busy doing what? Too busy watching the latest episode of American Idol to pick up a phone? Wouldn’t want to miss that zinger that Simon says. Too busy planning trips to Disney because seeing a relative would be too boring for your children. No, they need to have someone in a mouse costume entertain them. Can you imagine subjecting your children to the stories of an old war veteran? Heaven forbid you miss out on eating at the latest posh restaurant because you went to visit your crotchety old relative. Ever wonder why they’re so miserable? Here’s a hint – lonely people aren’t happy. Maybe we as a society should stop being so self involved and start thinking of others. Quit acting as though once someone hits 50 they’re no good to you, because guess what – one day (God willing), you’ll be 50. Don’t you want your children and grandchildren to come visit you? Chances are they won’t. Why would they when the new Twilight movie just came out? They’ll stop by later. “Cat’s in the Cradle” anyone?
So what happens when later ceases to exist? When the person you’ve been putting off seeing is suddenly gone? Was living your life in a selfish bubble worth it? Life is so short and so fragile and once someone’s gone, that’s it, they’re gone. There are no “do-over’s” in life, so if you want to live your life to the fullest and you want to have no regrets when you’re knocking on death’s door then you better figure out where your priorities are and get them in order. You think beating the newest Halo is more important than a living, breathing human being? How sad. You want to get your character to the highest level in WoW, spend hours upon hours sitting in front of a computer like a mindless zombie – will the other elves be there to say a eulogy at your funeral? Is it worth it to get to level 80?
Life is so short that you cannot afford to take it for granted or you’ll end up sitting at work, kicking yourself, with thoughts of “I should’ve” running through your head. My daughter will never know her paternal grandmother because we said that we’d bring her to visit, you guessed it, later. Bobbie was dead before we had a chance to. She was so excited to finally have a granddaughter, and yet she never had the chance to meet her. Lorelai will never get to know the wonderful person that my great-grandmother was. She’ll never fully understand the love that was behind each and every happiness doll. I lost someone very near and dear to my heart and I never got the chance to say good-bye because I fell into the trap of, “later”.
Why put things off until tomorrow what you can do today? Very cliché, I know, but also very true. We make plans and then don’t follow through. We promise to call but never do. We say we love but don’t show it. Of course, my personal favorite, we make back-up plans for our future, just in case, so that we don’t die alone. In my opinion if you’re willing to spend the rest of your life with someone then why wait until a certain age to do it? Why put off something that could be so great? I’ll just never understand it.
In the end I think that we all should embrace each day and love your family and friends like there’s no tomorrow, because before you know it, there won’t be.
Do you see it? The nice skelator apparition in the background? First time I saw it I thought it was a joke, that maybe the room had some special effects that made it look like there was a ghost in the room.
