I'm Going For It...

I've decided to go after J for child support...again. I tried last year, but I didn't have his address and he avoided them at work, so he was never able to be served. Now I have his home address and work address, so I'm going to put the forms in the mail tomorrow.

The one thing that is slightly scary about this is that if paternity is established the restraining order with L against him will be lifted. I don't think he knows that, though, since he didn't show up to court when the restraining order was established. Even if he does try to fight for some form of custody, I doubt he'll get it because of the pending case against him.

I do know that one day I want him to be a part of Lo's life. He really does have a good heart...when he's not messed up on drugs. Unfortunately, when I knew him, it was rare for him to not be on something. I do think he's cleaned up his act though. I'd like to think that this is a wake-up call for him; he could be doing some serious time for what he did to me.

I'm just not scared anymore. He doesn't rule my life. Yes, I do still think about him, a lot, but instead of thinking about him in anger, I'm sad that he wasn't able to step up and be the dad I know he can be. I hope that any time served will help him be able to get his life together. I mean, I requested that he get counseling if he's convicted, and he'd have the opportunity to get his GED while in prison (isn't it nice that they get all these "perks"?). I dunno, we shall see.

I might not even get anything for a while. It takes 6-9 months for child support to be put into effect, and we're supposed to go to trial next month (unless there's another continuance). I guess I'll just be happy to know that when he gets out he'll have this money owed to me. He needs to accept responsibility for his actions, and I need to stop thinking that it's ok for him to not support his child. I just hope that him getting served doesn't put him over the edge. Oh yeah, he's also going to get served with paperwork to change L's name - dropping his last name and giving her mine. That should be interesting.