Things Change...

It seems as though my life fell apart for a bit this year. In December I was in a car accident, in my brand new car, and was in a lot of pain from it. I still have some pretty bad back issues. Then I was dumped via text, quit my job, started a new one, and then was let go from that job. Started working at Cracker Barrel and planned on moving up north to the Jacksonville area...then something completely changed my life...or I guess I should say, someone. Yes, I met a guy. A coworker of mine from CB. Without a doubt the most amazing man I've met before. I know, I tend to say that a lot, but this time it's different. I can be myself around him. I can be 100% real and not worry that he's going to think any less of me. He makes me happier than I ever thought possible, and he might not ever know it, but he truly saved my life. See, I hit a very deep depression earlier this year. I thought that my entire life was a complete and utter failure. I was unable to provide for my child. I was barely making enough to get by, and what money I did have I would spend every night at a bar. I started drinking more than I ever had before...going out every single night getting trashed. I just wanted all the pain and insecurity to go away. I felt hopeless...lost. I turned to the booze and my pain killers for help and that only made it worse. Then I started hanging out with the new guy. He made me smile. He told me every day how amazing I was, what a great mother I was. When I felt like I was breaking down, he was there. Not gonna lie, it's because of him that I turned my life around. I stopped taking the pills and stopped drinking. It's been 10 days since my last drink. That might not seem like a big deal to most people, but to me...someone who was getting trashed on a daily basis...sneaking in drinks whenever I could...it's a huge deal. I know I have his support. I like being sober. I have some great job prospects - just had an interview today for an amazing job that I think I got - and my little girl is starting kindergarten on Monday. Most importantly; I'm happy. For the first time in a long time I feel loved, like I have a good grip on my life, and I feel genuinely happy.