Friday, October 30, 2009

I need to take a trip...

Seriously. The firefighter has definitely got me all hot and bothered. He might come down next weekend, which will be nice. Then my friend and I will go visit him (and her bf) at the end of the month... and I'm sure that will be a really nice trip... if you get what I mean. :)

I don't know what it is about this guy, but I feel like I've known him forever. It's cool. I'm super excited to see him. I just know that the distance thing is going to really suck. I mean, if things work out, I don't think I'd be able to handle living in the country. Ugh, there I go again, putting the basket before the horse. (heh - cliche city lately). I just really like the way he makes me feel, and the sound of his voice... omg - that southern drawl... I have a weakness for that...

Ok - Bachelorette party tomorrow, I'm so excited. It's going to be legen...wait for it...dary.

Hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween!!!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

My name is Roo, I am a robot on the internet...

Oh come on, you give me that line and then expect me not to use it?

I'll admit it, I can be a bit cold sometimes. Ok, I won't lie, it's like the arctic with me at times. It's just how I deal with things. With breakups, I'm not going to sit at home and cry about it. How does that change anything? It doesn't. I'm not going to stop living my life because of it. Life is far too short for that. So yeah, perhaps some people could view my talking to the firefighter as moving too quickly, but I don't. I see it as me not missing out on an opprotunity. If you want to be offended by that then so be it.

I am happy now. I haven't even met this guy, but we click. It's nice. I'm not going out, picking china patterns and curtains, but I am quite happy. I mean, I don't think things ever would've really worked out between M and myself. My heart still belonged to someone else. Still does, probably always will. It's tough, but I'm trying to get over it.

To quote Taylor Swift:

But I've miss screamin' and fightin'
And kissin' in the rain
And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and comin' undone
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

New Guy

So... I started talking to a new guy, R. He is my co-worker's, bf's, coworker. A firefighter/EMT from Okeechobee, which is about 2 hours north of me. So we chatted a bit last Friday (on my friend's phone), became FB friends, messaged there, and then exchanged numbers and have been texting. He looks pretty cute from his pictures, and he thinks I'm pretty. The four of us are gonna try to plan a trip so that I can meet him, but it's kinda nice to get to know someone first, and since he lives so far away I know I'm not gonna jump in the sack with him - although one of my coworkers said that if I could makeout with someone online that I probably would've done that already. What can I say, I love kissing.

Anyway, he has a son that's Lo's age from a prior marriage. Apparently she cheated on him and they got divorced. He's my age and is going to school to be a paramedic. Seems like he has his life together. He is religious though, and I'm really, really not, but I can look past it if he can.

We were texting this morning and he told me he'd like to go out with me. I'm all giddy. :) Of course, with my luck, I'll find that he's totally the one, then we'll have the distance thing to deal with. LOL Talk about counting your eggs before they hatch. Like I said, I'm gonna take things slow, again, and we'll see what happens. :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

OMG - Why do people have to SUCK so much?!?

So things didn't work out between me and M. There were some things that truly irked the hell out of me, like how everytime I would say anything he'd reply with, "You tell me how it is." OMG, so frustrating! Oh, and it was so sweet of him to drive me to the urgent care center when I was sick, but to take pictures while I was in triage - not a good idea! I mean, did you see how quickly my pulse jumped? There were just a lot of things. I wasn't feeling it. It felt like I was hanging out with a friend rather than a boyfriend, and his constant talk about wanting to get bigger (more muscular, not fatter) turned my stomach. I just don't like big, muscular guys. I'm not attracted to that. It's my opinion and I feel I am entitled to it.

I wanted to be mature about things. I wanted to sit down, face to face, and let him know that I just wasn't feeling anything more than friendship towards him, and that I would love to continue to be friends because he really does have a good heart. That didn't work out either. We were bickering back and forth on Facebook (the Devil!). I wasn't being my normal charming self, I'll admit it. I was kinda cold, but at least then it wouldn't seem like it came from left field when I dumped him. So we were going back and forth; he asked if there was something wrong, I told him I wasn't going to lie. He asked if it was about him, I told him I was not having that discussion online. He called when I was in the Day Care picking up my kid, so I wasn't able to answer the phone. Then he left a snarky message, something along the lines of; Call me and tell me what the fuck is up. That pissed me off, so I replied with, when I'm ready to talk I'll fucking call you. Then he said I was playing games, that the truth finally came out. What truth might that be, I asked. He's like, it's not that serious, if you wanna end things just say goodbye - so I said goodbye and he unfriended me. Real mature, right?

So being the kind hearted person that I really am, I felt bad for the way things ended. I was able to send him a message last night telling him that he really is a great guy, and I just wasn't feeling it, the whole thing. Then he comes back, insinuating that I left him for someone else (in my mind, I think he was referring to C, since he loved to bring his name up). I wrote back that I didn't leave him for anyone else, blah blah blah, if he ever needed a friend, I was here. He said it was too hard right now, but maybe in the future. All in all, a nice conversation.

Now, not only am I kind hearted, but I'm also very curious by nature. I looked at his profile, just to see if he was talking shit about me, and he was. Around the same time I sent him that message, he changed his status to: "here is some words of advise. If you would like to stay my friend, and have me talk to you. Don't you fucking ever direct the word love towards me." First, it irked me that I wasn't able to comment and correct his grammar, but whatever. It pissed me off. Talk about being a two-faced bitch. So I decided to be snarky and changed my status (we're not friends, but we have a lot of mutual friends who are aware of the situation, and I felt I had to defend myself, lest I look like a complete bitch) - my status was "Newsflash: I never claimed to love you, not even close. So how 'bout you put your big boy pants on and deal. It didn't work out, get over it." Probably not the most mature way of handling it, but I felt a little bit better putting it out there. Plus, I have my girls on my side confirming that I never said love, just like, and we all know that we admit that kinda stuff to our girlfriends before we'd say it to our significant others.

So anyway, I thought that I'd be nice and continue to be friends with him at some point in the future, but it's so not worth it. There are plenty of other guys out there for me, and I am going to have my fun with them. I mean, I never really said, "hey, let's be bf/gf", he just kinda decided that out of no where, after hanging out twice and talking on the phone a few times.

M - if you're reading this - not everyone who hangs out with you wants to be your girlfriend. You can't force these things, and that's exactly what you were doing. You were moving way too fast for me, and that coming from someone who can fall in love at the drop of a hat means a lot. I hope with your next girl you take things slow, and don't try to piss her off with the ninja shit when she's so sick that she has to be in the urgent care center. Oh, and don't be a dick when she's trying to be nice and mature about a breakup. Trust me, I can be the sweetest person in the world; I'd give you my last penny if you truly needed it, the shirt of my back - but once you cross me and piss me off, I guaran-fucking-tee that you will never have experienced pure bitchiness and ice cold cruelty from anyone like you'd get from me. You want to stay on my good side.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Finger's Crossed!

I am really unhappy with my job. It's boring desk work and I don't feel that I am being paid what I'm worth. I have 3 years experience, my 2-20, CRIS and AAI designations, I should be making a hell of a lot more. Knowing how unhappy I am, my mom casually mentioned to one of our old agents that I'm miserable, he in turn informed her that their company is looking for an account manager and that I'd be perfect.

I had lunch with the owner of that agency about a month ago. I told him how much money I'd like and he didn't freak out and say it was impossible - I figured that was a good sign. I was told that they were in the process of getting a new producer/book of business, and that would determine when I would be able to start, and how much they could give me. He said I'd hear from him within 2 weeks.

Well, 3 weeks later I still hadn't heard from him. I was slightly upset, because from our meeting I was excited about the idea of working for that company. It's a lot smaller than the one I'm currently working for (200 people vs. 10 people), but I'd be able to write my own business and it'd be easier to move up to an agent's position. I sent him an email following up on our meeting, and seeing if he had gotten word from the potential new producer. Luckily he replied shortly after, stating that he was still interested in me, but hasn't gotten a commitment from the new agent. I was promised that he'd contact me this week to let me know what's going on.

I'm seriously so excited about the idea of going to work for this company. I've had it with the agency I work for. Granted, I've been here three years so I have made many friendships and I do have a loyalty to them, but loyalty don't pay the bills. I want to be able to start saving up and move out on my own. Finger's crossed that I get the email and the new job. Yes, I'm fairly certain I'll cry while giving my two weeks notice, but I need to do what's best for my daughter and myself, and this is for the best.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Twitterpated...

So this is what happy feels like. I like it. :)

So it's been almost 3 weeks since M and I started seeing each other, and it's been the best 3 weeks in a long time. It's so great having someone to talk to and turn to. I mean, back in middle school we were friends, but I never would have imagined that we'd end up dating. I suppose I should thank the creators of Facebook for allowing us to become reaquainted. :)

The thing with M is that he's not like most guys that I dated. Yeah, C was really nice, but he wasn't sweet or romantic or anything like that. I was looking on FB today at lunch and M's status was, "Where did my baby go? I'm calling but I can't get through. :( I miss my baby..." That just makes me feel all giddy when I get to read stuff like that. I don't want this feeling to end. It's amazing. :)