Bachelorette Party

I had a blast at the bachelorette party on Saturday. I ended up renting a car so that I didn't have to worry about mine overheating on the trip. We stayed at Disney's Pop Century Resort. It's such a cool place. Yes, that's a giant Rubick's cube. They had a bunch of them there. :)

The maid of honor had decorated a Minnie Mouse veil for V, since she is a huge Disney fan. I helped out the best I could, but I'm not the most creative person in the world, so I just told her I'd pay if she decorated, so it worked out pretty well. It had a pic of the bride and my cousin, a Publix name tag (that's where they met), light up diamond rings, and some sports and shoe designs. V loved it.

We went out to Bahama Breeze for dinner, and I had the best meal! Shrimp and Grits with bacon and hollandaise sauce. OMG - it was to die for! We also surprised V with a shoebox cake, and she loved it. The theme of the party was shoes. We were supposed to decorate our high heels. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to since L and school take up so much of my time. Everyone else did an awesome job though.

After dinner we went out to Howl at the Moon. I realized that I need to phrase my questions a bit better when I asked the male bartender if he did blow jobs. Of course, I meant the shots, but his reply was priceless - well, I don't do them, but I love receiving them. lol. So V, G, and I did the shots, and we were told we had to do them the right way - hands free. I had never done that before, so I was slightly worried that I'd spill or whatever. I did a damn good job though, took the whole thing like a pro. the bartender grabbed the camera so we could get some good pics. I didn't notice until later that H was giving the thumbs up. Too funny. :)

It was a great night. We got back to the hotel around 2 and I woke up with a killer headache, but I didn't feel sick or anything, so I was very grateful considering I had a long drive back home.

Anyway, I'm glad to be home. I have a full day tomorrow. Work in the morning and then school until 10.

What to do...

As much as I hate to admit it, I am single. It sucks and I wish it wasn't so, but alas, I have yet to meet my prince charming. I've had plenty of fun with the toads though. :) I have a point - I promise. My ex, the deputy, has been dropping hints about us getting together again. Do I love him, yes, but I'm not in love with him. Unfortunately, my heart still belongs to someone else. I know, I know, I need to get over C, I've heard it all before. That's easier said than done. I love him and feelings like that don't just go away. I went out with waiter boy, M, and the firefighter in hopes that I'd get over him, but no dice. Ugh, I hate it. It sucks so much when someone has that kind of control over me. Sometimes love just bites. I saw this on Angela's page one day, it was the love quote of the day, and I thought it was perfect:


"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you up and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."


Yes, it blows. It's so confusing. I'd like to give it another try with the deputy. We had fun and we split because he needed to concentrate on his career. I just want to make sure that I'd be with him because I want to, and not to get over C or because I don't want to be alone. I talked to my ex, MF about it (my first boyfriend that I would get back together with in a heartbeat). I went into the whole speil about C and this is what he told me, "back and forth passes the time. be friends with some benefits until you meet someone worth keeping, that way you don't go crazy without any nookie..." Yes, it's no secret that without sex I do kinda go a little crazy - but we all go a little crazy sometimes... (cue "psycho" music. lol) So what if you find the person worth keeping but they're too blind to see it?


I understand where C was coming from with us splitting; you can't force feelings that aren't there. Plus he's obviously fine with the idea of tapping some strange - a thought that tears me up inside - so there is like virtually no chance of a reconciliation. But me and deputy. I don't know. At one point he was my life. I wanted to marry him. Maybe if we give it another go then the feelings will come rushing back. I know that whenever we're together I feel safe. I don't really have romantic feelings for him, but if we do give it another go then maybe those feelings will come back. Maybe that's something that C should have considered. I mean, I've changed so much since we first met. Maybe if we would have given it another try he would find that he does have those feelings for me and I'd be happy instead of miserable.

Slacker

I have seriously been slacking in my blogging duties. I guess that's what I get for trying to actually work during the day. Ugh, fucking hate my job. I just want to go to school. I want to find someone to take care of me so I can concentrate on my studies. I wanna go to med school. I wanna be a doctor. C loaned me a book, "Another Day in the Frontal Lobe", about a neurosurgeon. Now I want to be a neurosurgen. That'd just be so kick ass. I want to be so many things, just don't know how to do it. How am I going to be able to afford med school? I barely make any money and the money I do make goes to day care for Lo. It's virtually impossible to save up because every time I do something happens and my savings gets drained. It fucking blows. Things would be so much easier if I had some help with Lo. I wish her father wasn't such a dick. Oh well, that's life.

So tomorrow is R's birthday. Tomorrow is also my day off. I was toying around with the idea of going up to see him, but after the amazing night I had last night, I don't think I wanna be around any other man. Last night fucking rocked the caspah. I'm still weak from it. Ok, I have got to stop thinking about that or it'll turn into a very uncomfortable experience at work. :)

Bachelorette party this Saturday. So excited about it! We're going to Orlando to some clubs. Yes, I will be drinking, but it will be responsibly. I have to drive back home the next morning and I don't feel like puking on the side of 95. I don't know how crazy we're gonna get, but I'm up for anything. Bringing some singles just in case. I'm also considering getting my tatoo while I'm up there. :). I'll post whatever pictures I can on Sunday. Can't wait! I just need to make sure I don't send any crazy texts that night. :)

Trial Update

I spoke with the state attorney handling my case last night. He gave me an overview of how things are going. The judge wasn't able to get to J yesterday so he goes in today for the calendar call. The SA said that the trial might be next week, but it depends on the defense attorney, apparently his kid is sick, something like that.

The defense has been asking about a plea, so we discussed it yesterday and I said my ideal plea would be 1 year + 1 day (that'd be prison), plus 2 years probation, drug and anger counseling. He told me that the defense plans on calling up the original deputy that responded because he said he didn't see anything wrong. Mind you, this deputy ended up under investigation because he didn't do his job that day - didn't even do the paperwork properly. Then he said that the deputy is currently on sick leave so he might not even be at court. The other officers and detectives would be called up by prosecution and they would help my case. I also found out that the ATM surveillance was apparently malfunctioning that day, so there's no video of the robbery, just the receipt and my word against his. The pictures aren't too clear showing the bruises, so I'm in semi-panic mode right now. I told him that if they wanted to try to talk the plea down, I'll accept 6 months plus 3 years probation and counseling. I'd rather him get something than nothing. He did tell me that if he's found guilty his is facing a very long time in prison.

I'm waiting for him to call me back and let me know when the date will be, and he said he'll call me a few hours before I need to appear so that I'm not sitting around for hours. They would need to do jury selection and everything first, and he doesn't even know if I'd be called to testify the first day. I really hope that J accepts the first plea bargain, but if he doesn't, I'll have no problem testifying against him.

Moving Out?

I've been in talks with my cousin and his fiance to get a place together. I received a call last night that they found a townhouse and they'd like me to look at it, so everything might fall into place. So I'm all excited and I send out texts to my friends about it, and C replies asking who I'm moving in with, and then he's like, "u should move in with me". Um.... what? I've been waiting months for him to show some sign that he wants to get serious, and then when I have plans to move in with someone else he offers this? What, will he wait until I'm engaged to say I should marry him? My reply, "um... I'm gonna go take my final now."

The thing is, I don't think I'll be able to afford the place because I found out that instead of splitting it 3 ways like I logically thought, they're talking about 50/50, which doesn't seem fair to me. I can't afford $700 a month; if I could I'd be on my own already. So if this happens to fall through, I wonder if I can take C up on his offer, if only to call his bluff.

The Challenge

As I was drinking my Caramel Brulee Latte and staring down the peppermint brownie I got from Starbucks, I was hit with the sudden realization that the wedding is only 2 months away! Holy crap, right? I was fitted for my bridesmaid dress months ago, and I'll get it next week, but I've put on a little weight since then. So my challenge now is to lose that excess weight before the wedding. So, 15 lbs in 2 months - can I do it? Hell, I've done it before.

It should be easy since classes end next week and I'll have the time to start working out - the first few weeks are always the hardest, after that I crave it since I get such an intense high from it. My classes next semester are every other day, so that'll work out perfectly for my working out.

Certain people think that I look better with a little meat on my bones, but I liked my flat tummy, and now I have a gut; it doesn't make me happy. Let me put it this way - I've gone from a size 3 to a size 7 in the past year. Now, I'm not wanting to get back down to a 3 because my coworker started calling me her little ethiopian, but I'd like to get back down to a 5.

So here's the plan. I gotta cut out the carbonated beverages, coffee, and energy drinks (I'l start after finals are over), and that will help me lose some weight, since the sugar from that collects around your midsection. I also gotta stop with all the alcohol, since I'm almost positive that the Yuengling has a lot to do with the mini beer belly I've got goin on. Then I can start going for runs and get some cardio going. C said I should run a half marathon with him in January, don't think that'll happen (at my best I can barely run a 5k, let alone 13 miles!). Maybe in 2011. Then I can get back on my 30 day challenge with the Wii Fit, which totally kicks my butt as well. I'm fairly certain if I stick to that, that I can be down 10-15lbs by the wedding. I'll keep ya posted. :)

All About The Finals...

This week will be the most stressful week of the semester. I have my finals. A test tonight, Thursday, Saturday, and Monday. I also have my research project due on Tuesday. I'm trying to figure out how to handle everything. For my test tonight I'm allowed to bring a half page study guide, but I didn't bring one last time and ended up with 101% (extra credit). My test on Thursday I know will be difficult, and I have to do well on it if I want a B (I have to Ace it if I want an A). Same goes for my other two tests. I need to do well (B or higher) to get a good grade (an A). I'm hoping that the extra credit I did for my criminology class is good, because that could give me 5% points added on to my final grade - that'll bring me up a whole letter.

So I guess I'll spend the week studying, and then this weekend I'll work on my research project. Most of the work is already done, I just need to write out the results and stuff like that. It'll end up being 30+ pages and it worth 30% of the final grade, so I don't want to fake it.

C already told me that he wants to see my grades when they are turned in. He's really pushing me to do well, although the punishment for not doing well doesn't work too much. If I get a C or less then he'd bend me over the counter and have his way with me. Um... wouldn't that make me want to do poorly? :)

Anyway, regardless of what he says or does, I know I need to do well. Can't get into med school with bad grades.