A few years ago my cousin got married to a bitch that is lucky her ass isn't in South Florida, since I'd beat it if I ever saw her. They have since split (thus the wanting to beat her comment). Anywho - the DJ at that wedding happened to be my friend and there was a bit of kissing that night going on between the two of us. Just kissing, nothing more. Well, apparently one of the workers there happened to know J, and he decided to fill him in on the fact that I was kissing another man. J got pissed, tracked me down at breakfast the next morning (where I was eating with my family), took me outside and smacked me around a bit for kissing someone else. Here's the kicker - we were not dating at that point. No, he was living with his wife and we weren't together. I don't know, maybe he felt that since we had a child together that he somehow owned me. It was fucked up, but a busted lip to make out with my hot friend (whom I've been crushing on since 9th grade) - worth it.
Fast forward a few years. J is out of my life and I am (not-so) happily single. C and I are splitsville, have been like that for almost a year, and he's talking about hittin some strange, just for fun. Another wedding comes up, once again my friend is the DJ (I suggested to the couple that they hire him). He ends up staying with me that night and fun things happen. Good times.
I'm an honest person, I just have an incredibly difficult time lieing to or deceiving anyone, especially someone I care about. So was I honest with C? Of course. I didn't think he'd actually be hurt by it. I mean, this is the guy who told me flat out that he feels nothing more than friendship towards me. The guy that dumped me and had the fucking audacity to be chatting up another chick when I was sitting right next to him. He made it painfully obvious that we would never be a couple, so how the fuck could he possibly be hurt by my actions? Apparently he was, based off of a post left on my FB wall. Yes, my actions were 100% justifiable, but somehow it still inflicted damage.
Well God damnit! I wasn't trying to be vindictive, I was just trying to have some fun with a good friend! I am not a vindictive person, in fact I end up feeling horrible if I have caused anyone any type of emotional distress, and the really shitty part is that C knows this. Maybe he's being the vindictive one and trying to make me feel bad for sleeping with S. Well, I won't, ok. I am single, 100% unattached. If you don't want me to sleep with anyone else then you need to get your shit together and let me know what the fuck is going on. I'm not getting any younger, and I don't want to end up alone. Now, I'm not sitting here saying that S and I are going to ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after - with him it's just sex - but come on, I will find someone; I can't sit at home, twiddling my thumbs hoping that one day you'll open your eyes and see what an amazing person and great catch I am. It's not fair to me. I deserve so much more than that.
Yes, with C the sex is absolutely amazing at times, but it's not worth me being alone and unhappy. I want to get married one day, preferably before I'm 30. It's not fair to put my life on hold because some azzhat can't handle commitment. So don't bitch and don't tell me that you're hurt because of what I do. You dumped me, remember?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment